When the world is cruel, be kind to yourself当伤痛来袭,別隱藏,請对自己好一点!

赖彩云 Jessy Lai Chai Yu—sad

When the world is cruel, be kind to yourself

We all go through some bad days. When it happens, far too often we refuse to allow ourselves some down time. We beat ourselves up for having emotions, and think that the only way to display strength is to shut out our feelings and pretend like nothing happened.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Every one of us have experienced one kind of problem or another—be it in our studies, work, relationships or anything else. Some of us are so hardened to these situations that we no longer cry, complain or even express sadness to our loved ones. We even refuse to acknowledge that we are legitimately upset.

Why do we conflate emotional shutdowns with strength and maturity? Could it be that when we deny our emotions, we are merely running away from reality, and refusing to acknowledge our humanity?

I recently saw a video on ET Today. A martial arts coach is teaching his student to break wooden planks. The young student was so afraid that he could not hit hard, and ended up crying. When asked why was he crying, he said its because he’s not confident enough to break the wooden plank.

The coach allowed the student to cry, and then he told the boy: “I would not stop you from crying, because I do that too. But I want to tell you that life is full of obstacles, and we have to face them no matter what. We might shy away from challenges because we are afraid of getting hurt, but we can’t allow ourselves to do that. In the end, we need to man up and fight.”

I was very moved by the video. The coach wasn’t only teaching the boy about martial arts. He was giving him a valuable life lesson. Just like the coach said, no one can stop you from crying or feeling upset. You could very well talk about your feelings, allow yourself some space to recover.

Don’t trick yourself into thinking that denial is a solution. Time never really does heal anything unless you are willing to face the problem up front.

Therefore, go ahead and own your emotions—the good, the bad and the ugly.

When you’re done, remember to pick yourself up and move on. Tomorrow is a new day, and you can get back on track being your amazing self.

当伤痛来袭,别忽略,对自己好一点!

人总有面对低潮的时候,当面对低潮时,人总是不允许悲伤的情绪盘踞自己太久,又或者从来不允许悲伤找上门,一秒都不能。

人都有低潮,真是人之常情,也是最真实的反应!

我相信每个人几乎都有经历失恋、打击、分离、亲友离世、失业、失败的打击,很多人在伤痛来袭时,已经被训练成不能流泪,必须坚强面对,不能软弱、不能有负面情绪或是不要想太多……

很大程度上,许多人都不愿意接受这些负面的纠结,我们会认为这些负面情绪是不应该存在的,因为它会带给我们麻烦,让我们一蹶不振,让我们痛苦不堪。

因此,我们不愿意面对,强迫自己将问题深埋,眼不见为净,然后用正面的想法来说服自己继续往前行。

但这些愤怒、难过、痛苦或忧郁,不就是人类天生的七情六欲吗?既然这是我们天生该有的情绪,为何不诚实面对它们,接受“我再怎么坚强,还是有难过的时候,只要我诚实面对,这没有什么大不了”

最近在台湾东森新闻(ET Today)看到一个短片,里面有一位拳击教练要他的学员用力的使出左手击破板子,小小年纪的学员心里有障碍,总是无法使力,最后他哭了。教练问他为何苦?他说自己的左手没有力,他没有信心能击破板子。

教练静静的让小学员哭,之后告诉他,“我不会阻止你哭,因为我面对挫折时候我也会哭, 但我想告诉你,我们的生命中总会遇见各式各样的考验,即便是很困难的挑战,无论如何我们都要去面对,我知道面对困难会很痛苦很难过,遇到障碍,我们总想着要停止向前,那是因为会受伤会痛,会不想再经历这样的事,但我们却要像个男人一样奋斗,即使真的很痛苦!”

这一个短片让我很感动,我觉得很感动,这位年长的教练教导的并不只是拳击,还教导了小学员一生的功课!正如教练说的,面对痛苦,谁也没有资格阻止你哭或生气,千万别在第一时间觉得自己软弱或不堪一击,然后忽视问题,将之埋藏在心底,告诉自己时间会释怀一切……
别傻了,时间就像是最狡猾的小偷,总是将你深藏的问题在某一些时段剥开,让你痛苦一番。

时间或许会改变些什么,但却没办法稀释情绪,所以,别压抑自己的吧,好好释放情绪,不要否定负面情绪,而是要与忧郁共处。

哭过后,请记得站起来,面对所有的一切,晴天将守在等在骄阳后,等待破茧而出!

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