To be Successful, Avoid Repeating Your Mistakes想要成功,确保相同的错误决不再犯!

赖彩云 Jessy Lai Chai Yun-mistake

To be Successful, Avoid Repeating Your Mistakes

No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. The difference between the wise and the foolish, however, is whether they learn from their mistakes.

Learning from one’s mistakes might sounds like a simple idea, but you’d be surprised at the number of people who don’t do it. These people suffer greatly from one mistake, and then promptly decides to forget all about it and suffer from the same mistake again.

Did you know? Successful people are allergic to this. Their sense of pride and their strong desire to excel do not allow them to not learn from their mistakes. They avoid the same mistake like it’s a plague.

Not long ago I came across Henry Cloud’s book, Never Go Back. A quote that I deeply identify with: “Successful people know that there are some paths that should never be walked again. This is the wisdom they have gained through failures.”

I practise this as well. I do not talk about regrets, and I do not repeat my mistakes. I take my failures seriously. I analyse them, break them down and make sure I learn from them.
Cloud mentioned ten mistakes that should never be repeated. I hope you find them helpful:

1.Doing things that do not work

Insanity is doing the same thing hoping for a different outcome. If something is done and dusted, or proven to be ineffective, move on. Scrap it.

2.Doing things that you are forced to do

Ask yourself when doing anything: Why am I doing this? Am I suitable for this? Can I keep doing this?
If there is a “no” in any of your answers, you need to have really good reasons to keep doing this thing.

3.Trying to change others

When you realise that you can’t force someone to do something, let them go. Let them experience the consequences of their own actions, and enjoy your own freedom.

4.Believing that you can please everyone

Once you understand this, you can focus on pleasing the right people.

5.Choosing short term gains over long term benefits

Successful people are willing to suffer to get what they want. This is because they look for long term benefits. The ability to practise this is the major distinguisher of the great and the mediocre.

6.Believing in perfection

The more we love excellence, the more we pursue it in everything we do. However, if something looks too good to be true, it probably is. Nothing is ever perfect.

7.Missing the big picture

Staying in touch with the big picture can help us maintain calm and help our performance. Successful people know that nothing is absolute, and they always try to see things from a wider perspective.

8.Being careless

Many things may look great on the surface, but attention and care to details is what will really set you apart.

9.Not asking why you’re doing what you do

Successful people constantly reflect on what they do and why they do it. They meditate about their roles, and never choose to assume the identity of a victim.

10.Forgetting the importance of a healthy self esteem

Sometimes, the quality of our lives are not dependent on our circumstance. It depends more on our minds, and our inner selves.

Everyone makes mistakes, even the best of us. What matters is whether we learn from them, move on and never look back.

想要成功,确保相同的错误决不再犯!

“人非圣贤,孰能无过?”

人总有犯错的经验,只是在于犯错后,你是否会吸取教训,警戒自己下次决不能在犯同样的错。错误能让一个人快速成长,只有犯错,你才知道事情最糟糕的程度,让你认清局面。

认清犯错的起因,不会再犯,说起来真的很简单,但是身为拥有劣根性以及惯性的人类,总会被牵引,忘了警戒,重蹈覆辙同样的错误。

你们知道吗?成功的人,其实对于“再次犯错”四个字相当敏感,绝对不允许自我松懈,再次犯下不不应该再犯的错误,因为他们深知,挽救与弥补的机会不是常常有!

最近阅读了克劳德(Henry Cloud)的著作《永不回头》(Never Go Back),我非常认同他说的一句话:“成功人士一旦走过了某些路,就在也不会回头,这是他们经历失败后的体悟以及智慧。”

我本身也是一位不言后悔、不走回头路的人,因为我认真吸取教训,不在重蹈覆辙让自己跌倒的路。反省,是每一位成功人士必须做到的事,若你从来不反思自己的所作所为,失败永远常伴你,而成功则是离你越来越远!

我引述克劳德在其著作中点出了十个决不能再重复的错误,希望能给你一些的启发:

我们不该不做任何改变,却强求能有不同的结果。不管是工作还是亲密关系,只要结束得有理,就绝对不该再做同样的事。

1. 做行不通的事

我们不该不做任何改变,却强求能有不同的结果。不管是工作还是亲密关系,只要结束得有理,就绝对不该再做同样的事。

2. 做必须勉强自己的事

不管做什么事,都得扪心自问:”为什么我要做这件事?我适合这件事吗?这件事适合我吗?这件事可以一直做下去吗?”

如果任何一个问题的答案为”否”,想继续做下去,你最好能有个非常好的理由。

3. 试图改变他人

当你发现自己无法强迫某人做某件事,就应该给他自由、让他体验随之而来的后果。这也会让你获得自由。

4. 相信自己可以讨好别人

一旦你真心了解,自己无法讨好所有人,你的生活也就有了目标,去讨好那些对的人。

5. 选择短期安逸而非长期利益

成功人士愿意承受苦痛,好获取自己想要的东西,因为那能为他们带来长期利益。能否遵循这项原则,正是成功者和不成功者之间最根本的差异。

6. 相信看似完美的人或事

我们热爱卓越,也该不停地寻求卓越,例如追求优秀的员工、优秀的企业等。然而,如果某个人或某件事好得让人难以置信,那就最好不要相信。世界并不完美,任何人、任何事都有缺点。

7. 忽视全局

注意全局,可能让我们的情绪更稳定、表现更优秀。对成功人士来说,任何一件事都不是事物的全貌;赢家时时刻刻都记得此事。

8. 忽视谨慎的重要性

不管表现上看起来多棒,深入、用心又诚实地审视,才能找到我们真正应该知道的现实。

9. 不去问自己为何会走到这一步

成功人士和其他人最大的差别在于,不管是面对爱情还是人生、面对亲密关系或商场,他们总是会自问,我在这个情况下扮演什么样的角色?也就是说,就算他们真的是受害者,他们也不会只把自己视作受害者。

10. 忘记外在成功取决于内在生活

有时,美好的生活与外在环境没有太大的关系。我们的快乐与满足大多来自内在,许多外在环境也是起因于我们的内在生活。

每个人都会犯错,就算是最成功的人也不例外。但成功者更能认清错误的起因,而且不会再次犯下同样的错误。他们能从自身和他人的痛苦中学习。痛苦无法避免,但我们也有办法避免自己再次承受同样的苦痛。

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