The more I experience life and the busier I get, the more I understand the importance of letting go of things that do not matter. Certain people’s opinions do not matter. Certain events are not worth attending. Some arguments are not worth having, and there are some business ideas that are just not worth investing in.
In fact, I would say one of the most valuable lessons I learned throughout my career, is to have the pesistence to pursue what matters, the courage to say no to things that do not matter, and the wisdom to differentiate the two.
Why is this so important? In short, all of us has a limited amount of time and energy, and we have to pick and choose where we direct our energy to. The less you care about things that do not matter, the more energy you can channel into truly important things.
Nevertheless, I understand that differentiating what you should and should not care about can be difficult. For me, a general rule of thumb is to ask myself: what is the ultimate goal or purpose of my life, and how does this decision affect that?
When I was much younger, I waited patiently on the sidelines of life. I wanted to be liked and approved of, and often I was not sure of myself or my own judgment or things. That led me to ask for permission to do things—and if I have a great idea that was not well received, I would give up on that idea anyway. Now, I learned that if I want to take control of my life, I need to fully own myself. I owe no one anything except to be morally upright, honest and kind. I have stopped asking for permission, and ever since then I have a new found freedom to truly explore what I want in life. Remember, advice and opinions of others can be valuable, but you need to know who’s the true owner of your fate.
It has not been an easy journey. I believe almost everyone goes through that phase in life where others’ validation and liking means the world to us. It could be our family members’ opinions, our teachers and mentors, our bosses, the shareholders of your company, and even the public. To different extents, at some point we all need to be “liked” by others. We work so hard to please people, even when they don’t matter.
A few years back when I was faced with huge adversity in my career, I learned that “being liked” is hardly as important as doing the right thing. These days I choose to be involved in a lot of charity work precisely because of this realisation. Some might say that I’m foolish, because charity and social responsibility doesn’t make money. Yet I have learned that making money alone is not fulfilling, unless I know that the money is going to a good cause. This is the art of knowing to let go—giving up things that don’t matter for those that do.
What are some things that you need to let go off? Are you being overly dependent on the validation of others? As usual, comments are welcome! I would love to chat. [/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ width=”1/2″][vc_column_text]学会选择，懂得放下