How to start an interesting conversation ?5点让你抓住谈话对象的心

赖彩云 Jessy Lai Chai Yun-Business People Conversing at a Conference

How to start an interesting conversation

We all know someone who seem to charm everyone they talk to. It seems like they can talk to anyone about anything so effortlessly, and make people like them instantly. Don’t you want to be like them? I used to envy people like these so much, because life is just that much easier when you are good with conversations. Luckily, I came to understand that conversing is a skill that can be learned. I have some food for thought on it too, hope it helps you!

1. Focus on the person you’re talking to, not yourself

I’m sure many of us experienced the painful process of hearing someone ramble about something we have zero interest in. These people seem to be completely blind to the fact that others may not share their interest. Don’t be that person. The best conversations begin with showing an interest in the other person, their passion, interests and values. Ask them an open ended question about something that you have notice about them. If you can give them a sincere compliment or give them positive feedback, you’ve made a great start.
2. Listen attentively

Many people focus on thinking of a response when another is still speaking. Be aware of this during your future conversations. Try to force yourself to listen. This is not easy, especially if you are highly extroverted. You can practice by spending time with your partner, or a friend, by repeating back to them what they just said. This exercise helps create awareness of the amount of time we actually spend active listening with others. The more you listen, the more you are able to have a meaningful and indepth conversation.

3. Moving the conversation to a deeper level

Some people make you feel so comfortable in a conversation that you are willing to open up to and share very personal issues. What is it about them that makes you so open up so easily? Watch out for these clues: they are probably good at making eye contact, and help you feel like you are receiving their full and undivided attention. Watch their expressions. Notice they are emotinally in sync with whatever you are telling them. Their faces light up when you are sharing something happy, and take on a solemn, sad look when you are sharing bad news. You sense and feel they are totally engrossed in what you are telling them. Even if they do not genuinely care, you are inclined to believe that they actually do. If trying this seems unnatural to you, practice and push yourself to do so.

4. Asking good questions

Sometimes, just nodding and saying “uh-huh” is not enough. To really build an emotional bond, encourage others to share more of themselves. You can do this by showing an interest and asking open ended questions to help them delve deeper. Good questions are asking someone how they think or feel about a topic they are discussing. If you have talked to someone before, ask them about something you previously discussed. They will be delighted to know that you remember what they said. It shows that you do pay attention.

5. Spend some time

Never start a conversation beyond exchanging quick greetings, unless you have the time to talk. Setting is important too. Places that are noisy with a lot of people around, such as a club or a sports bar, are not the best venue to engage in great conversation. Good conversation requires a slow, relaxed pace and a pressure free atmosphere devoid of distractions. Perhaps a quiet bar or a coffee shop. Take the time, sit down and show that you are ready to engage the person you are talking to. You’d be amazed with the results.

聊天对人际交往很重要!5点让你抓住谈话对象的心

你身边一定也有这样的朋友,他们说话的时候总是很迷人,跟他们说话很愉悦,跟他们聊过天的人几乎都会对他们留下好的印象。

你有没有幻想过有一天变成他们,总能自在轻松的人与人交谈?

不瞒你说,我也曾经羡慕这些健谈的人,因为一个人若有很好的口才,对人际交往有很大的帮助。但我也明白,口才是可以训练的,因为我本身就用有这方面的经验,今天就来与各位朋友分享让口才变好的秘诀!

1.将注意力集中在聊天的对象身上而非自己

我知道当对方一直跟你聊自己的所见所闻,而你一点也不感兴趣的话题时有多么痛苦,而这些人也完全忽略别人或许根本不想听你聊这方面的话题!

若你很讨厌这样的人,那就警惕自己千万别成为这样的人。

打开话题最好的方式就是聊一些别人的事情,例如聊聊他们的人生观、他们的工作、他们的兴趣等。请发挥你的观察力,观察对方的一些小细节,以这些作为一个话题,然后再聊天的过程中,不断的给予正面的回应,我相信对方会对你印象深刻!

2.全神贯注聆听

很多人都会在对方说话时,脑袋不停的在想,下一步该怎么回应他,朋友们,我劝你最还别这么做!

你应该做的是全神贯注的聆听!

当然,若你是属于那些很外向、很心急的人,我相信集中注意力对你而言是一件很难的事。

凡事都有解决方法,你或许·可以尝试找你的朋友作为练习对象,跟他们聊天,在重复他们说过的话。这样的练习将会训练你的注意力以及集中力,那么下一次与人谈话时,你就比较能够静下心来听对方说话,而且也能从对方的谈话中找到有趣的观点继续你们的对谈。

3.挖掘更深入的话题

有一些人很会聊天,他无时无刻让你觉得自己备受尊重,跟他们聊天很有安全感,于是你就会越聊越深入,越愿意敞开心扉交谈。你知道其中的关键点在什么地方吗? 那就是眼神交流,因为适当的眼神交流能让你觉得自己在交谈过程中备受重视。

而且这些善于交谈的人,也有很丰富的脸部表情。例如当你谈到开心的事情时,他的表情很会很愉悦、当你说着伤心的事时,他的表情就会很难过。霎那间,你会觉得自己是被理解的。

所以,脸部表情在交谈中也是其中一个重点。

4.善于提问

有时候,当对方在说话时,你一味地发出你在聆听的“单音”例如“嗯嗯”是不足够的。为了一个更好的对谈,你可以在对方说完话后,从刚刚的对谈中找出一个有趣的点,鼓励对方继续聊下去。若你曾与对方聊过天,你就可以以上次你们谈话的一些内容作为开启对谈的话题。对方一定会觉得你是很用心的人,因为你将你们之间的谈天都记在心上。

5.花更多心思

若你觉得地点不适合谈话,千万别随便与人打招呼。谈话的场所也是很重要。

例如人很多的地方,例如运动酒吧或是俱乐部,这些地点都不是适合谈天的地方。因为令人愉悦的聊天应该是在一个轻松的环境下进行,例如一个安静的咖啡厅或是私人性质的钢琴酒吧。慢慢来,好好坐着,放松身心,你将会与对方有一个深入又愉悦的聊天。

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