How to Look Confident, Even When You are Not提升自信迈向成功

赖彩云 Jessy Lai Chai Yun-Confident-Mindset
[vc_row type=”in_container” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” overlay_strength=”0.3″][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ width=”1/2″][vc_column_text]How to Look Confident, Even When You are Not

We all know that confidence gets us ahead in life—you do not need to read my blog to know that. But as much as we know the value of confidence, sometimes it is really hard to feel good about ourselves when we are overwhelmed by challenges at work. Maybe you have an important presentation, or maybe you are made leader of a new project and you are not sure if you are good enough. What do we do in these situations?

Here’s a tip I can offer: fake it till you make it.

Feeling anxious and stressed out about a new challenge is natural. In fact, it is more common than you think it is. Amy J.C. Cuddy, professor at Harvard Business School and the author of Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges says: “many of us never completely shed those fears — we work them out as they come.” She has some valuable lessons to offer: “faking” confidence is not about pretending to have skills or capabilities that you do not have. It is “about pretending to yourself that you’re confident” so you feel motivated and less fearful.

Here are some suggestions that might help:

1. See the challenge as an opportunity

The more you choose to think about how scary and difficult the task is, the more you are going to feel powerless and afraid. Instead, Cuddy suggests that we look at challenges and see them as opportunities to learn something new. Instead of saying to yourself: “this is so difficult,” say: “this is exciting!” Keep telling yourself that, and when doubts arise in your mind, silence it with positivity. Remind yourself that you must be good enough to be entrusted with this mission, and the task cannot be something so drastically different that you can’t accomplish it.

2. Make baby steps

While it is important to stay positive, you goals must remain realistic and achievable, otherwise you risk demotivating yourself when things do not work out. In Cuddy’s book, she suggested making “small, incremental improvements” in your task. For example, you can tell yourself, “Today I want to help my team bond so that they feel comfortable with each other.” Or, “At this conference, I am going to pitch my idea to at least 5 people.” This way, you do not overwhelm yourself with a seemingly impossible goal, and you can keep yourself motivated every time you achieve one baby step.

3. Be bold in your body language

One great way to come across as confident and bold is to use “body language that makes you feel bold and victorious,” says Cuddy. This might be a surprise to many, but your body image not only affects how others see you, it affects how you feel about yourself too! Cuddy suggests movements that are more open, spread out, and take up a bit more space, as these actions help exude power. Consider the “Wonder Woman” pose, for example: the elbows are jutting out, taking up more space, and the feet are spread out. Practicing these “high power poses” can eventually help you feel more confident. Other tips include standing up straight, don’t slouch, take long strides and walk with your head held high.

4. Make Eye Contact

Not enough eye contact strongly indicates a lack of confidence, but too much eye contact can make you look like you’re trying too hard (or come across as weird). You want to maintain just the right amount. You can try asking close friends and family how they feel about your eye contact. That’s an easy way to find out if you make too much or too little. In most situations, we tend to make less eye contact when we lack confidence. Here’s a trick to help you remember: make a habit of noticing their eye colour. In doing so, you’ll give them more eye contact.

Confidence isn’t about being better than everyone else, it’s just about being comfortable in your own skin. It might seem weird to “fake” confidence, but remember: sometimes pretending to be confident and telling yourself that you are confident actually makes you feel that way.

Ideally, we all want to develop real confidence in the long-term. But that is a long and difficult process. Before we get there, I hope you find these tips useful! If you have any feedback or ideas on how to be more confident, do share it with me on this blog or on my Facebook page. I would love to hear from my readers.

http://lifehacker.com/how-to-fake-being-more-confident-when-you-re-just-not-f-1739292468
http://www.bdlive.co.za/business/management/2016/06/09/fake-it-till-you-make-it-and-other-confidence-tips[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ width=”1/2″][vc_column_text]4步自我改造 提升自信迈向成功

你有没有觉得每每看见同事在会议上做简报时,总是一副自信满满的样子?而且还频频得到老板的赞赏,做任何事情仿佛都胸有成竹,超有自信??反观自己,东西总是忙不完,而且还一副非常疲惫的样子,老板也不见得欣赏自己……

你的同事很有才干是无可厚非之事,但我觉对相信,他还具备无比强大的自信,才能让他每次在公事上都胸有成竹、如鱼得水!

我想每一位读者都知道自信能引领一个人迈向成功,老是没自信不仅会让你的事业触焦,还会让你身心受损!

美资深心理治疗师巴登 葛史密斯(Barton Godsmith)在他的研究中透露,经常生活在疑虑、不安或是相互比较的环境下,会严重打击一个人的自信心。而长期缺乏自信心,会让一个人丧失挑战的勇气、剥夺自己寻求突破的力量。而低落的情绪会更会影响生活与工作,贬低个人价值观,严重的话,甚至有寻死的迹象。

其实,人在面对新事物时,会感到紧张与压力是很正常的,哈佛大学商学系教授艾米 卡蒂(Amy J.C. Cuddy),同时也是著书《Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges》的作者,卡蒂在该书中提及:“许多人都不愿意正面面对内心的恐惧,实际上你应该尝试与这些恐惧共处,而建立自信最简单的方式就是‘假装’自信”

她补充:“‘假装’自信并不是要你强装那些你根本没有的能力,而是要你想象自己是一个很有自信的人,我相信,这样的想象力绝对会让你受到鼓舞并降低你的恐惧。”

若你正是那个缺乏自信朋友,这里有几个方式,让你能快速建立自信:

1.视挑战为一次的机会

你知道吗?当挑战来到你面前,你只会将事情想得很严重、想得很可怕、完全认为自己毫无能力去完成这件事时,那我坦白告诉你,你只会被自己的想象出来的恐怖束缚了前进的脚步。相反的,卡蒂却认为我们应该将挑战视为一个可以学习新知的机会,与其不断的对自己说”很难,我做不到“,倒不如改变心态将事情想象成”这很有趣“。

当那些不好的自我怀疑的念头浮现时,你应该以正面的想法反击,你应该不断的告诉自己,你绝对有能力将事情做好,而且会越做越好!

2.踏出一小步

想要白痴正面的想法,那么你就要为自己立下一个真实而且可以达到的目标,不然你就发现你根本没在进步。

在卡蒂的书中有提及,她建议各位缺乏自信的朋友应该设定一个”每日踏出一小步“的目标,例如,你可以告诉自己”今天,我要好好的让团队好好的认识彼此,以让大家在日后共事更舒服”又或者是“在这场会议中,我至少要向5个人讲述我的想法“。这样的目标并不会很难达到,让你可以持续的的激励自己!

3.善用肢体语言

“其中一个让你产生自信的方式就是利用肢体语言”,卡蒂说道。 其实,你的肢体语言的表现方式不仅影响他人对你的观感,也影响着你看待自己的想法。

卡蒂建议,当你在与人交谈或是在演讲时,手部动作尽量伸展开来,双脚也站稳站开,因为这样的动作让你看起来更具力量。缺乏自信的人,可以常常练习这样的姿势。另外,卡蒂也建议大家在演讲时,尽量站直,不要驼背,行走时,头部微微抬高,这有助于你建立自信的形象。

4.眼神接触

与人交谈时,眼神总是闪避对方目光的举动,会让人觉得此人不够光明磊落也不够自信,这是人际交往最忌讳的事之一,但过多的眼神接触也会让人感到很不自在。

所以,你必须拿捏眼神接触的分量,其中一个方法就是,你可以问问身边的好友或是家人,他们跟你眼神接触时的想法,你或许就能知道自己是过多还是过少。

缺乏自信的人通常在与人交谈时逃避对方的眼神,我建议这些缺乏自信的朋友,当你与人交谈时,你不妨养成一个习惯:观察对方眼珠的颜色,那么你就比较常与对方有眼神接触。

各位,培养自信并不是为了比别人更好,而是让自己变得更好。假装自己是自信并不是一件奇怪的事情,因为当你不断的鼓励自己,告诉自己:我是最好的,自然而然的,你就培养了自信。

当然,假装自信只能应付短期的问题,你还是必须想办法建立真正的自信,因为唯有相信自己,对自己有自信的人,才会更勇敢的去决策未来,才能追求梦寐以求的成功!

建立自信心并不是一朝一夕就能达成,需要持之以恒并找到最适合自己的方式方能成功,希望以上提供的小贴士对你有所帮助,下次见![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *